spy games – a new series

I figured that it’s time for me to produce some more consistent content on this blog, so I decided to start a fictional series, “Spy Games.” As I’ve mentioned in previous blogs, and alluded to in one of my English major entries on this blog, I’ve had some atypical jobs. Management consultant for the war in Iraq, not so odd for a liberal arts college grad. Intellectual property analyst for a firm based in the Channel Islands, a little more unique. But the one that’s actually strange? Private investigator.

I don’t know what my friends thought, the first friends I made when I moved here. I think they thought it was cool and weird, but they didn’t really know what I did on a daily basis. Like I’ve said many times, it was one of the stupidest things I’ve done with my life, it was pretty scary… but I learned a ton of useful stuff. So I figured that I would exorcise some of my experiences while entertaining you. Maybe you’ll pick up a trick or two too.

Let’s start with something simple. Getting into buildings.

Let’s say you have to make contact – take a picture of someone, follow someone to their car, “borrow” their computer – and you’re going to pick up the subject at either his home or office. There are certain advantages to choosing one site over the other. Need to follow him in his car? Definitely start off at home. He’s more likely to notice strange things around his home, but if you’re any good, you can slip right behind him at the end of his street. Without any additional details, I’d choose a residential area over an office parking complex everytime – plus you get 7 days of opportunity at the home. Need to “borrow” his computer (I’m not talking about his home computer, though that can be arranged too)? Then it looks like you’re working the office.

To begin “getting into buildings,” let’s focus on getting into his office. (There are similar rules for making contact at his home if he lives in one of those apartment buildings with a lobby, and there are very different rules if he lives in a single-family home.)

First, you need to do your homework. Make a few phone calls to figure out his schedule – if you need photos, then you want him when he’s coming in for the day/from lunch or leaving for the day/for lunch. Whoever hired you should have his work number, or at least where he works. If not, you can figure out his employer with some computer work. Just call at various normal times (9:00, noon, 5:00) to see if he answers. Calling at intervals based on the time you choose can set up a “gate” for your surveillance. So let’s say you choose leaving for the day. He answers at 5:00, and for the next two days, you get his voicemail at 5:30, your gate is established as 5:00 – 5:30. If you don’t have a couple days for setup, just get there by 4:30 and wait.

Some more creative calling is necessary to figure out where he’s located in the building. Try the receptionist or a secretary. Be charming and funny – Southern accents recommended. Any story about a surprise will get the person who answers the phone on your side 9 out of 10 times. “Hi, I’m a childhood buddy of Joe’s – my little sister and I, she was his high-school sweetheart – are trying to surprise him this Friday. I know this sounds crazy, but could you tell me where he sits? We’re fixin’ to come right up behind him and surprise the hell out of him.” Believe it or not, this kind of stuff works. All the time. And if you crap out, you sometimes get some good info anyway like, “Oh! Well, he won’t even be in on Friday.” Depending on your objective, that could be the detail that makes your case.

I think I’ll stop here for now. More on prep, actually getting into the building, and what to do if it’s a secure building next time.

postscript 1: so I used a pic here from Burn Notice because as outlandish as some of the plots are, what he does – his thought process and improvised techniques – are a lot truer to investigating than exploding business card cases and cars that can drive underwater.

postscript 2: by no means does this post, or any other post on this blog, recommend or condone pretexting or trespassing.